Marauder's Babysitting Adventure
by Late Night Angel
Summary: Padfoot, Prongs, Moony, and Wormtail are going where no Marauder has gone before...babysitting. One-shot.


"Padfoot! That's not you hold it!" James Potter reached out and grabbed the object that Sirius had been dangling from its upper appendages it. He grabbed under its armpits and held it out, inspecting the crying animal in front of him. The thing in question opened its mouth wide as it screamed and Prongs cringed along with the rest of his crew.

"Oy! Make it shut up, Prongs!" Sirius complained putting his hand over his ears and turning away from the object. "It's giving me a headache."

"I don't know what's wrong with it!"

"It is a baby and his name is Ryan…" Remus was standing near James's left shoulder as he spoke looking at the baby boy. "I don't think Bridget would appreciate you calling her little brother an 'it', guys."

"Bridge said he wouldn't wake up! She lied!" Padfoot exclaimed, pointing at the child as if it were the most evil thing in the world. In response to his raised voice the child screamed even louder. His little pale face beginning to turn a beet red that contrasted the straw blonde hair that topped his young head.

"Padfoot!" Remus admonished, glaring at his friend's loud voice. "If you and James hadn't been fighting he wouldn't have woken up, in the first place." His hand rose to run through his muddy brown hair as he looked at the child concerned. "Keep your voice down, it's not going to help."

"Yeah Padfoot!" James piped in, still holding the child at an arms distance. He looked at it interestingly. "You know he'd be a good weight for lifting…if he weren't so loud."

"No Prongs this is your fault in the first place. We wouldn't be here if it weren't for you!" Sirius said, turning his glare on his best friend. Sirius Black and crying children did not get along. Well, actually Sirius and children didn't get along period. Too loud and just…gross.

"It's not my fault!" James defended immediately. Finally, James tired of holding the small child out like a bomb and brought him closer to his body and rested the child on his hip as he had seen Bridget do with it earlier. It looked oddly…domestic. James Potter with a crying child on his hip.

Wormtail, who had been hiding behind Remus, moved out and looked at James only slightly intimidated. "Well…yeah, Prongs, it is," At James's glare, Peter backed up slightly. He held his hands up in a peace-giving gesture. "It kind of is."

_~~earlier that day…~~_

"Hey guys! Guess what we're doing today?" James burst into the room and his three friends that were sitting around the coffee table in James's living room didn't move at all. In fact, all three looked up rather as if James bursting in and yelling were an everyday occurrence.

"We're not trailing a muggle mail-man again are we?" Sirius said, glancing at the cards he held in his hands. They were playing 'go-fish', a muggle card game that Lily had taught them last year when they were entirely bored. "Because as much as my dog-half enjoyed it…it was kind of a let-down."

"I dunno, I kind of enjoyed it," Peter quipped, grinning behind his cards. He looked thrilled at the memory. "Felt a bit like a secret auror!"

"No and I thought that they handed them off to owls and they were lying muggles," James said, mussing his hair as was his habit. Perhaps, his mail-man mission had been a bit misguided. Lily had explained the way the postal system worked for muggles and he thought it was rubbish. Owls were much more efficient! He couldn't believe it actually went by foot. The marauders had trailed a mail man under the invisibility cloak for a day. It wasn't anything exciting and was actually a complete waste of their day. "This is better than that…"

James paused for dramatic effect making sure to look each Marauder in the eye as he waited. They all stared at James expectantly. There was a true possibility that what he was about to say was actually epic, but…after his plans for their summer no one could be sure. James swept his arms out in a grand gesture and exclaimed, "We're babysitting today!"

"That is not something you say with that tone, Prongs." Sirius informed him, putting his cards down. He pulled his legs up under him as he started to rise. "We are not babysitting."

"Yes we are," James explained, walking over to his best friends. "You know how we were supposed to go hang out with Bridget and Lily today in that muggle town?" He waited for the nods before continuing, "Well…Bridget's parents got called out of town for an emergency…so she has to babysit and Lily was gonna babysit with her. So I volunteered us!"

"Volunteered?" Peter asked, curiously. The chubby Gryffindor gave his tall friend a skeptical look. "You volunteered to babysit? James…you don't even like to take care of the plants in herbology."

"Little buggers are annoying that's why. Why can't we just enchant the watering cans to water them on their own?" James complained, pushing his glasses up onto the bridge of his nose. He returned his hands to his jeans pockets and looked away attempting to seem aloof as he spoke again, "And maybe I just wanted to be helpful!"

"Evans asked you didn't she?" Sirius said, stretching his arm out across his raised knee lazily. The accusatory gaze he sent James did not match his relaxed pose, though, because he knew he was about to get sucked into something he would regret because, once again, James could not say no to the red-headed prefect. At James's meek nod, Sirius groaned. "You need to retrieve your balls from her, mate. Just because you're dating now…"

Remus, who was sitting across from Sirius chose to ignore the rather crude comment and decided to focus on the fact that James had gotten them into something…again. "Prongs! We've been over this," Remus said exasperatedly. "You don't sign us up for things without asking first."

"We are not babysitting. I'd rather sit here and play muggle card games and watch Peter try to eat twenty cakes without stopping than babysit some obnoxious brats." At this comment Sirius picked his cards back up fully intending to go back to the game he was playing. James had now made his way over to his friend, though, and quickly snatched the cards out of his hand.

"C'mon mate! The older kids are at a birthday party or something and the baby will be sleeping. We can spend the entire time with Bridget and Lily." The young Gryffindor looked rather desperate. He had promised Lily, and he didn't want to think about what disappointing Lily meant. It certainly meant no Lily-kisses, as he liked to call them, for a while for going back on his word and he was rather fond of his Lily-kisses. "You haven't seen Bridget for as long as I haven't seen Lily…I know you want a good snog."

At the mention of Bridget the image of the slender brunette rose into Sirius's mind and her full lips and those hips…he groaned. "Fine!"

_~~Present…~~_

"Fine, okay! It's not like I knew her brother and sister were going to need to be picked up and they'd leave." James explained, his voice now tinged with desperation as the child continued to scream in his ear. "We need to figure out what is wrong with him. Someone take him," He held out the baby for someone to take and after a few moments, Remus finally stepped forward and took the baby blonde in his arms. "My head is starting to bloody kill me."

"What do babies cry for?" Sirius asked, backing up so that he was a safe distance from the screaming devil child.

"Maybe he's hungry?" Peter suggested. "I get upset when I'm hungry."

"Bridget said there was a bottle in the fridge," Remus said, beginning to walk the length of the room with Ryan in his arms. "James go get it, but you have to heat it up first. Don't just grab it out of the fridge."

James, surprisingly, did not complain and instead went right into the kitchen. It was a few moments later that he reappeared with a bottle in his hand. He put his arm out to hand the bottle to Remus and Remus backed up, holding the baby near.

"Test it first. That's what the baby books said."

"Baby books?" Sirius looked at his friend as if he had grown a third head. "When did you read baby books…MOONY! You didn't knock a girl up and not tell us did you?"

"No!" Remus retorted, looking justifiably offended. Remus was still a virgin and the boys knew that full well. "I needed something to read when you two idiots were fighting."

"Test it?" The Gryffindor chaser looked at the bottle warily for a moment and then shrugged. He lifted the bottle above his head and dripped a few drops into his mouth and his face immediately contorted as he spit it out. The three other Marauders stared at James, unable to keep the shocked look off their faces. "It's disgusting! They feed this to kids?"

All at once Sirius broke out into laughter and Peter into snickers as Remus just stared at his friend with a look of utter shock at his friend's idiocy. "Test does not mean taste it, Prongs." Remus explained exasperated, shifting Ryan on his hip. The child had quieted down for a moment, before starting back up again at Sirius's loud guffawing. "Sprinkle it lightly on your wrist and see if it's too hot."

"You should have said that before," James complained. This time he did as he was told and then shrugged his shoulders, handing it off to Remus. The werewolf attempted to get Ryan to take the bottle and he did, but only for a moment before throwing it in a certain direction.

"OW!" came a loud moan from behind them. The marauders turned around to see Peter clutching his head in pain and glaring at the child. Of course, this caused James and Sirius to break out into laughter. Even Remus cracked an amused grin.

"Hey, kid could be a chaser." James snickered.

"Yeah except…he's still crying," Sirius pointed out, covering his ears. "I say we toss him out the window. At least then we won't have to hear him."

"There might be baby food in the kitchen," Remus said, completely ignoring Sirius's comment about throwing the baby out of the window. This time holding the child out in front of him, wincing slightly from its wailing. "Okay James, your turn again."

James made a sound that may have been mistaken for a whine if he wasn't such a manly man. "Let Pete or Sirius take him! My headache is just getting worse."

At the mention of him taking the child, Sirius hid behind Peter (which was quite the sight being that Sirius towered over the shorter boy) and thrust him forward. Peter turned back and glared at his friend. "Why me?"

"I bet you have a great material instinct, Pete!" Sirius was giving his pudgy friend a rather innocent look and Peter sighed.

"_Maternal_ instinct, Padfoot." Remus corrected.

Wormtail glared at the lot of them and took Ryan into his arms. "Let's go to the kitchen, then."

"To the kitchens!" Sirius exclaimed and with that he took off with his hand in front of him running down the stairs towards the kitchen. Upon arriving the three boys began to look around the kitchen for a can of baby food. Looking around, of course, meant tearing apart the kitchen taking things out of cabinets and the strange cold box that muggles called a refrigerator.

Finally after looking in what seemed to be every single kitchen cabinet, Remus emerged triumphant with a jar of smashed peas. He easily took the top off and handed the jar off to Sirius with a spoon and at the look Sirius gave him, Remus glared, "You've done nothing. Feed him!"

Sirius glared at his werewolf friend and begrudgingly took the jar and spoon from him. Let's just say that the next fifteen minutes was a mixture of flying green gunk, a screaming Sirius, a disgruntled James, and a curious Peter (trying some of the food) and just a disgusted Remus. The spoon must have left Sirius's hands at least ten times and the kitchen was covered with different colors. It took fifteen minutes for Peter to finally announce that,

"Something stinks and it wasn't me, I swear." In a rather synchronized movement every Marauder's eyes went towards Ryan.

"I'm not changing it!" cried James quickly. "Sirius can do it."

"What! You're out of your bloody mind, mate. I ain't changing that smelly kid."

"He's your girlfriend's little brother." Peter pointed out, now holding Ryan out at a distance again. This time more from the fact that the child was releasing a rather gaseous smell than the crying.

"She's not my girlfriend!" Sirius exclaimed, running a hand through his hair exasperatedly. Why did everyone insist on calling Bridget his girlfriend? They weren't dating. Sure, he snogged her a lot and he was working his way up to shagging her and she made him feel happier than most girls did, but…they weren't dating.

James gave his best friend an exasperated look. "Mate…you snog her on a regular basis…without snogging other girls. She is your girlfriend, get over it!"

"Not my girlfriend," Sirius maintained stubbornly, crossing his arms to prove his point. "And I am not changing that devil's diaper. Peter do it."

"What? Why?" Peter looked absolutely horrified at the very aspect of it. In fact, he stared at Ryan's bottom to see if perhaps it would disappear under his gaze and he would get to avoid touching a diaper that was undoubtedly filled with poop.

"Because I said so," Sirius said irritably. Sirius's pureblood breeding tended to come out when he was pissed off at someone and Peter was a great candidate to push around. Luckily, though, that was what Remus was there for.

"Sirius, that's not fair—" The Gryffindor prefect glaring at his upset friend.

"Do you want to do it?" Sirius asked, tapping his foot impatiently knowing very well where this conversation was going.

"Pete does have an amazing immunity for bad smells," Remus admitted, flashing an apologetic look towards Wormtail. Peter looked at James as a last-ditch effort and James simply grinned and clapped a hand on his back.

"Best of luck, mate! We're right behind you."

Peter groaned and took the child close to him again in order to take him upstairs. Dutifully, and somewhat cautiously, the three other Marauders followed their friend up the stairs and back into the nursery. Peter set Ryan down on the changing table and all four boys looked down at the child.

"I don't know how to change a diaper," Peter told them, looking at the child unsure. "Where is the new one?"

After a few minutes of rummaging through Ryan's room, James emerged with a clean disposable diaper. He handed it to Wormtail with a grave expression on his face. "Wormtail…you are a brave brave man."

"People will tell your story years from now, mate." Sirius continued, standing next to James with the same serious expression on his face. It was amazing the mood swings Sirius Black was capable of, especially when he got his way.

Peter gulped and wiped a bead of sweat off his forehead as to take off Ryan's pants. He lifted the small child's legs up, while the child was whining through the entire thing and wiggling about, and managed to undo the old diaper. The sight that lay before the Marauders was enough to make enough Remus turn away in disgust. Peter's eyes might have even teared up with the sight and smell that suddenly affronted him.

It actually took several diapers and about twelve wipes before Peter was finally able to rangle the baby into the diaper. He stood back and looked at his good work. "Uh, I don't think I can get his pants back on…" A chubby finger went up to scratch his hair. Then the most miraculous thing happened…Ryan quieted down.

The little blonde boy simply looked up at the Marauders that stood around him his blue eyes still sparking with tears from his long cry. His tiny fist went up to his mouth and looked up at the ceiling.

"That's okay. All the cool guys don't wear pants anyway, huh?" James went over and scooped the infant up, a grin lighting up his face .The child was much more pleasant without it crying all the time.

Ryan wasn't interested in James's fun expression, though, instead his baby blue eyes were looking at a certain wavy-haired man that stood next to him: Sirius Black. The small baby wanted Sirius, or so it would seem.

James could only laugh, "Your turn, Padfoot. He isn't even crying anymore." Prongs held out the now silent child to Sirius and Sirius, somewhat begrudgingly, took him in his arms. After all, after making all his mates deal with every difficulty of the child it was the least he could do.

Ryan's hand immediately found its way to Sirius's wavy locks and gripped it tightly. "Ow! Hey!" Padfoot glared at the child and lifted an arm to untangle his fingers from his own hair. This caused Ryan to grasp Sirius's finger tightly and for a fraction of a second…Sirius Black's expression softened.

This, of course, was before there was a noise suddenly from downstairs. "The girls are home!" James chirped. "My Tiger-Lily is here!"

And with that James Potter ran down the stairs much like a child who had waited for their mother to come home from a long night out. The other Marauders shook their heads and reluctantly followed him down the stairs. When they got there they were greeted with two younger children, possibly five or six, running into the living room to turn on the TV, James practically snogging Lily, and Bridget rolling her eyes. Bridget's eyes lit up upon the sight of her younger half-brother with Sirius. Immediately, she walked over with a motherly smile on her face and took Ryan from Sirius.

"Oh, look who's up." She cooed at him and kissing his forehead. After this small gesture, she turned to Sirius and gave him his own light kiss on the lips. A gesture returned briefly, but not before wrapping an arm around her waist rather protectively. Bridget turned to the Marauders. "I hope he wasn't any trouble."

The four Gryffindors exchanged a knowing look and…all at once said, "No, none at all."

"Bridget! Can we have a snack?" Out of nowhere the little boy who had entered before ran up to Bridget and tugged on the edge of her shirt. She untangled herself from Sirius and smiled at the young boy.

"Yeah, of course. One second." Her slim form disappeared into the kitchen and a few moments later her voice could be heard from the kitchen.

"Guys…what happened to the kitchen?"

A/N: So…I've never written something involving the Marauders because I always felt I could never touch the amazingness that J.K. Rowling created…its why I stopped writing Harry Potter Fanfiction. Anyway…I felt compelled to write this because I could not get the image of the Marauders standing over a baby trying to change its diaper. So, here is the Marauders babysitting! Bridget is my OC and she is in this because they needed somebody to babysit and she has little half-brothers and sisters. Anyway…I really hope you enjoy this! As always, comments/reviews are very appreciated :3


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